my hate goes on and off

[rizhi_fin]

Yesterday, when I came home, I felt friendly with my father and quite tolerant towards my mother. We were watching something together with my father and even discussing it. Today, I again cannot stand my mother, and my father bothers (?) me. Actually, she started coughing, which she rarely does, and it pissed me off. I was playing freecell and silently wished and whispered "suffocate, suffocate" on her every coughing.
My anger worries me. From time to time, I (suffocate) loose control, like driving a car, or at work, or approaching my house, which in itself is a torture. I am afraid that one day I might loose it big time and do some damage.