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thoughts on entertaining myself
I do need to entertain myself more thoroughly than I am now. Having fun in Georgia has a specific Eastern flavor to it that I try to taste as rarely as possible. It is either dining out or having a picnic. Dinners and restaurants in Georgia are either very traditional (to the point of boredom or sanitation problems) or so expensive that it becomes ridiculous because I am not a person who can appreciate a 20-dollar soup. Picnics are for a large group of close friends that I do not have here. What else we have? Historical monuments? After one or two they all look the same. Mountains? Too many of them, although I like remote quiet places. Fishing? Definitely. Well, that about all. There is also an option of girls. But I have never been good at girls. For some reason I do not attract females for having one-night wild copulation sessions but rather pose as a potential husband at best. But wait, I had three one-night stands within 8-month period that qualify as copulation sessions without a plans of creating a family. I am so proud of it. Deep-deep inside I am a tender and sensitive male who tries to please his female. But somewhere deep-deep-deep-deep inside I am this wild sex machine that copulates with all females within a grabbing distance.
Moscow and NYC have this quality of swallowing, hiding you from everyone, even yourself. You can always find places where no one knows you or cares about you, which is great and at the same time there are crowds around you. But not in Tbilisi. It is tiring how people expect you to interact with them all the time. Those at work want to go with you on a picnic; those at home want to hear from you when you are at work. Constant attention. Constant interaction. In every social situation you are supposed to show some kind of emotion: you may be rude, loud, funny, gloomy, flirty, sad, aggressive, involved, aggravated, anything. But you may not be indifferent. That famous Moscow indifference on your way to and from work. There is too much of it there, but right now I miss it.
Moscow and NYC have this quality of swallowing, hiding you from everyone, even yourself. You can always find places where no one knows you or cares about you, which is great and at the same time there are crowds around you. But not in Tbilisi. It is tiring how people expect you to interact with them all the time. Those at work want to go with you on a picnic; those at home want to hear from you when you are at work. Constant attention. Constant interaction. In every social situation you are supposed to show some kind of emotion: you may be rude, loud, funny, gloomy, flirty, sad, aggressive, involved, aggravated, anything. But you may not be indifferent. That famous Moscow indifference on your way to and from work. There is too much of it there, but right now I miss it.